Totally Not Racist White Guy Pretty Sure A Woman Or Minority Couldn’t Do His Job


CORAL SPRINGS, FL – Joe Patterson, who is definitely not a racist, told his friends today that he was “pretty sure” that neither a woman nor minority could do his job.

“It’s not that I’m bigoted,” Patterson, 32, told his associate, “it’s just that the job I do requires a certain set of skills that couldn’t possibly be duplicated by the vast majority of women or minorities.”

Patterson then gave a demonstration of the five-step process he uses to copy text from one document to another, followed by saving the document then printing it out.

“I’m sure that if a woman or black person or Latino were hired to perform this job that they would be overwhelmed by the complexity of it all. No doubt, they could only be hired if our standards were considerably lowered at the temp agency.”

Patterson went on for approximately two hours, long after his friend had grown tired of the presentation, detailing “just how much the standards would have to be dropped” to even consider someone who wasn’t a white man for the position.

“Not that I’m racist or sexist,” he concluded.