U.S. Media “Well Ahead Of Schedule” For Producing 2016 Election Bullshit


WASHINGTON – At a press conference at the National Press Club, a spokesperson for the U.S. media said that news outlets were “well ahead of schedule and exceeding all existing forecasts for the production of election-related bullshit.”

Abby Wambaugh told those in attendance that the industry “expects to create a record amount of bullshit coverage of this election,” rivaling “2008, our best year to date.” Independent observers agreed with Wambaugh, noting that the media is producing more bullshit than had seemed possible just months ago.

Professor Hal Jackson, of South East Florida Western University noted that “the industry continues to elevate trivial, unimportant information well above its actual importance, while ignoring or down playing serious policy,” which “bodes well for topping off 2008 levels.”

In her presentation Wambaugh displayed a Powerpoint presentation that explained that online news outlets were “covering the bullshit gap” left by layoffs and reduced production from legacy media outlets. “Instead of bullshit on news print, this cycle will have a considerable amount of bullshit in the form of new media, including animated GIFs, listicles, and ‘hot takes.'”