(OWNews) — Washington was abuzz today with the speculation that Oliver Willis would be appointed to the newly created position of Secretary of Awesome in the Obama administration. While details are few and far between, the position is rumored to be focused on spreading the awesomeness of President-elect Obama to all 50 states.
“I can’t really confirm or deny the reports”, Willis anonymously leaked to a Washington Post reporter, “but I am aware that I’m on the President-elect’s radar, and he has communicated to me that a tentpole of his administration is to take the Awesome he took in all those states he won and make it national. If I am chosen – and I think I will – the Secretary of Awesome’s office will enlist our best and brightest to go on a nonstop goodwill tour to spread the awesome around.”
The “best and the brightest” according to Willis would include, but not be limited to 20 NFL cheerleaders, the cast of Disney on Ice, Jessica Alba, Britney Spears if she keeps clean, and Clinton Portis.
“Awesome, from coast to coast”, said Willis.